Pregnancy is a beautiful experience, even the physical strains are sweet troubles. But there is only one real torture during pregnancy time. The ADVICE we received 360 degree. The minute people hear you are pregnant, they try to share tips out of joy and as well wishers. But as weeks pass by, you realize that, they like to impose their opinions into the advice. One says eat this, one says don’t eat this. During 9th month, people will even start guessing your delivery date looking at your belly and advice. I still remember, as I walking I’m my street, the aunty in first house looked at me and said your delivery will happen in couple of days, be prepared, pack this, eat this, etc. As I walked more, the aunty in last house said it will easily take 2 weeks for delivery and I should not pack anything in hurry, not to eat particular food like jeera etc. In between these 2, I got 3 different advices too. I was frustrated and annoyed, dint want to get out of house as I was getting overloaded with suggestions and advices.
Now this blog is not about pregnancy this is about scenarios where we get bombarded with advices. Few more instances which would be like eating our brain then but sounds funny now when u think back. I have classified them into groups and whole heartedly baptized them based on the category of giving advice.. Hope you are able to enjoy and relate 🙂
- Buy one get one free : You start hi to them they return it with hi plus advice. When you join a new team or move to new neighborhood, you get overwhelming advices on how to deal with so and so people (uff, things would be better without those opinion imposed advices)
- Forget my previous advice : The same group of relatives who adviced me on how to focus on family, later adviced how to focus on career. At one point I realized they would basically advice, inspite of whatever I focus
- I dont follow but you follow advices : Financial suggestions and deep advices from elders later when we realize they are in debt themselves
- Give birth to advice : Parenting is a wide area where once you say you have a child, they will chain you and make you sit and shower you with blah blah blahs of advices
- Problematic advice : Oh there is a certified category of folks, who would be waiting for you to say the word problem, and they would adjust their collar, wear the suit and kill you with advices. (ooh I have wondered which is bigger problem.. Actual or their advices
- Be my junior advice : I have had very cool friends, they were cool until they knew they are born before me or they have few months more experience than me.. After discovering their seniority (doesn’t matter if they are 2 days elder to me or 10 years senior to me), they actually ain’t cool anymore. Any conversation gets into an advice and suggestion for improvement tone.. (when did I say I want a suggestion!!!!)
- Dead end advicers : these are interesting characters, when you go to them saying that they did a mistake or there is problem from their side, they will point fingers at you and start advising you.. (helloooo, you can’t suggest left or right in a dead end)
Enough, enough let me stop overloading you all. Am sure, everyone have faced such scenarios and Brian eaters who torture you with advices. Even I have given such advices and you might also have.. Over the period of time, I gave learnt to slow down and give advice only when asked…
Wait! Does it mean that advices are useless as sometimes they genuinely advice you as a well wisher. Oops, that’s bad if I say yes.
But it is not about that. It is whom we look up to and from whom you actually want to hear the advice. I have wonderful mentors in my life (personally and professionally). When we feel there is a need and guidance, we have heartfelt coffee conversations and it would relax us, they won’t be preachy but the words would be valuable for us. We would wonder how time passed by and at the end of conversation, we feel energized, recharged.
So it is important for everyone(including me) to take a pause before we advice others if they really want THIS advice from YOU!
A for????? Nopes.. Shh….no, I dint ask for advice 😉
Share your experiences on getting advices when not required…