I wear saree to work daily. One normal day, casual conversation during pantry walk, a lady from another team casually asked ‘wow, you wear saree daily’. I said I like the Indian attire. After few small talks, she said, “Hmm, see.. matching attires and always freshly dressed. Looks like you don’t have much work in your team” – I kept a normal face. Very bland expressionless emotionless talk and left. If this was three years back, I would have explained myself, got triggered and argued and tried proving my point. But today, I am not that aggrevated. When I wrote my first book, many congratulated me for the success. But they fall into 10% of people. 90% made such comments that “She does not do any work at office, she doesnot take care of her family, she happily writes books” – And after such juggling between work, life, finding my “ME time” in that roller coaster and pursuing a meaning in life, when all people can do is just to blah blah about it, just breaks one down. I have cried, have got devasted at one stage. But today, I have not stopped my way, my stability. Rather I have muted my emotions and reactions to such comments. Is this maturity ? Or maybe I have seen thousands and lakhs of such judgmental comments everyday. Every direction. Every person around. And its not just me my dears. For a minute, think how many you judgmental comments each of you face everyday.
A guy not in onsite after a particular stage in career – comments on him. Not married – so, irresponsibile or might be some problem. No child – Too personal judgments. Working mom – heartless woman. Working father – money minded. Too many post on social media – attention seeker. No posts on social media – Boring person. Changing profile pic daily – Unwanted drama. Never changing profile pic – Nothing happened in life interesting. Motivational quotes – Too much preacher but waste. Fun posts – Such a party freak. Overfriendly – people sit on your head. Too formal – very process oriented.
My head spins – what is right ? End of the day, each soul tries to be good, nice, accepted. We seek for getting some good applause from the society. We long for some group to acknowledge that my life is meaning. But, at this minute, I know there will be group who makes a comment on my dress, my weight, my complexion, the way I speak, the gossips around. And they can be exaggerated to any heights. This applies to everyone. The hardwork, life’s values, sincerity, being true, love, dedication, meaningful work, focus – everything gets dilluted in front of the funny, annoying, useless comments thrown by the society. The social media is a way to vent this or the actual medium of making labels.
Well, I agree, my blog so far has spilled raw truth and is depressing. But hold on. Let me share few tips on how to overcome the judgemental society and still creating your big stage
- Visualize where you want to be and stay focused on your path. This will make you travel towards a destination rather than randomly crossing each day in life
- While the judgemental comments prick and hurt you, think what value this will add to your life. Do not try to justify yourself.
- Accept the fact that you are not perfect and your success is making you a better person.So,it is okay to have flaws. You dont have to justify.
- Surround yourself with people who are your true circle. Listen to their feedback, criticism and help moulding yourself.
- Accept the fact that you cannot be liked by every human in this world. And you cannot choose who should like you and who should not.
- Dont become prey for flatters. Allow not to get the fake praises into your head.
- Remember, you are reaching your destination, you are living a good life for who you are and this is how you have survived and grown. So, carry the pride humbly and smile.
- It doesn’t matter 🙂 Eat, Drink, Sleep.. Stay focused and keep going..
4 replies to How to survive the Judgemental Society
Amazing.. It’s just so relatable!
Good work Narmadha, I agree totally with every
Such a nice topic and much practical suggestions to get judgments out of our way. Beware of fake getting in to your head, and accepting that not everyone would like us , nailed it in my mind..
Keep writing and wear your favourite every day. 👌😀