Today is World Mental Health Day. The 10 years old kid in me would send “Happy birthday Nithya”, to my best friend to pull her legs and giggle. But the lady I am now, facing arrows every day in and out. Those sarcastic statements from folks around, those jealous critics, those who try pulling my energy down in every possible way, those who make ‘judgements’ on my life, parenting hassles, the lockdown love life haha, and social media piles of disposables that I notice through my smart phone, artificial intelligence reading my mind and my best friend not reading 😀 – Being a human handling all these and yet trying to keep up positivity and smiles every single moment ( and it spreads beautifully), I have grown to learn the value of maintaining one’s mental health. So, here are top 5 mental health checklist for all of us :
The Tribe : Surrounding oneself with positive people, (remember not the one’s who just fake praise you but the one’s who care & respect). I have friend’s circle starting from 2 year old till 84 years old. Be it doing a frog jump with little ones or giggling about gas trouble in old age with aunties in the society, oh yes, some inspiring friends, some crazy ones across middle ages too – But do not force yourself to fit into a group for any reasons. There is always an option of being the water drop around a lotus leaf. But, WHO you spend your time with, makes an influence on your mental health certainly.
Kindness : Be lovely from the bottom of your heart and try to be “YOU”, but most of our kindness have an expectation of return gift within. The minute you try to be kind with being liked intention, it doesn’t happen , atleast in the long run. That is why I always love to be a butterfly. Fly around, make people feel your presence and make them smile, keep flying, without being clingy. Some will talk to you, some will just feel good, some will try to break your wings – you just be a butterfly and #nostringsattached
Self – Respect: This is as important as your heart beat. I was once upon a time the girl who was ready to be self-less, just can take any pain to make others happy but “to hell with it”, I am no more that person. Trust me “sweet people”, it really feels good when you stand up for yourself. “Stop cracking that joke on me”, “I don’t find it funny” , “Next time, better think twice before saying such things “, or a simple walk off forever – these are some precious LESSONS LEARNT which helps me sharpen me as a strong woman
Achievement : Woah, wait, don’t imagine a big stage and a crowd of thousands clapping on your achievements. Achievements are to be felt within. Publishing couple of books, dances, blogs that win prizes – the number of likes and comments – If one thing I have learnt, it is not to become a prey to those and accept the appreciation humbly. Achievements are more inwards. Become a prey to small little achievements . Today me cooking that dish exactly the way my husband wants, is an achievement, seeing the little garden of mine well maintained is a little achievement, oh, when my kid’s learn to clean up after playing is a big achievement, when my boss gives a thumbsup for a ppt I prepared for hours, thats an achievement. See, if you have smaller targets to achieve on a daily basis, then you can celebrate and feel the joy of tiny things in life. All you need to do is create them.
Responsibilities : Honestly, your mental balance is based on how the ‘responsibility’ balance is. Most of the times I see people getting choked because there will be a “to-do” list from every side they are responsible for. “buy grocery for the house”, “don’t forget to order the diabetes injection for parents”, “where is the analysis report to be submitted to the client?”, “the team member’s one to one emotional discussion pending”, “the washing machine needs a repair”, “there is a school alumni meet planned and people wanting you to be there” – While your head is almost going to blast from these pop up reminders, how can there be a mental balance. So, handle your responsibilities very well. Make a list, learn to prioritize, understand the importance of coaching and delegation at work (sometimes at kitchen too 😉 ) If I were you, I wouldn’t miss on the school alumni later complaining how much “important work” I have so I got to skip. (As long as I would enjoy the meet)
The “ME” time : I love people, I love to be with someone, or many , love talking stories, hearing stories , eating together – but I get extremely cranky if I don’t get my time alone , maybe in the balcony, sipping my tea / listening to music / sometimes starring at the sky / some artwork. But ‘me time’ is the time where you breathe and you enjoy the fact that you are still breathing. Do not consider your “stress break” time as “me time”. Its so stressful, I got to go for a smoke”, “I feel like breaking something, let me go alone somewhere”, “angry rides” – these are certainly NOT your “ME TIME”. Making sure that doesn’t happen to you is called taking care of your mental health.
Most importantly, we all have breakdowns at some point, maybe many points. Let us not feel it as a failure or The end. Let us accept it, embrace the scars and it is okay to be not okay sometimes. What matters is how you get back , is there an upgraded version of yourself coming? Focus on #beingbetter