The title of the blog sounds very negative right ? No, this is the best state of positive message I want to spread within and around me now. Call it psychology or vibes, Dec creates the mood of reflections of the year and creating the new year resolutions. “Oh, the year went so soon, I dint even get to do this, that etc” and then naturally with 1st January the assumption is that fairy angel sparkles her magic wand and we become that better person. So, the regular ones include fitness goals to fix the fat, travel somewhere to escape the tension of life, to read more books etc. Hey, the new year resolutions sound recharging right ? I thought so too. I believed so too. But, look again – we are not happy with existing shape of self, or health of self – so we need a resolution to fix it. We already predict that the routine of life is going to be hectic and want to wander around.
I have had a few observations of this dissatisfaction in people with their state of lives recently. Few colleagues, couple of family members, rest are good friends. Let me first share about my version before I even quote the observations outside. I used to , nope – I am still very ambitious. Never allowed myself to enter the state of being contented in existing state – be it, personal goals, family fun or professional performances. Once I reach a destination, I start thinking, planning, working for next level. It is an addiction. To climb the next step of the ladder, we stamp harder on the step we stand applying pressure. That is what happened to me each time, I aimed higher. 2022 provided me good lessons showing me how much I stamp harder sometimes. Now, let me share few examples from people around me :
“I know the next big move is in 5 months, but I am too anxious to prepare for the big move”, said my friend. “Hey, you are supposed to be happy and chill at least for 4 months right?” – when I asked this, she and I both knew that its better in theory that to follow.
“I could have done this better, if I had fixed the framework in advance.I need the space for experimenting on creativity”, a very disturbed colleague mumbled AFTER a very successful program. “But, its super successful right” – I did not ask it out, as I know what he felt , been there, did it in past.
Similarly, lots of self intake pressure around fitness, being vegan, following fancy diets, enrolling in fitness clubs. The next one on quit jobs, find your passion, life a life and all those motivational quotes pushing one to think their routine is tough. Hey, you have a job, you get regular salary, you are able to bring results at work, you are earning food for your family and living a life – why insert a void when there is none actually.
The awareness of mental health, talking to therapists, highlight all problems in life very often – financial, relationship, emotional, health : This is intense. While I am grateful for the moments I got awareness on them, I really don’t want to life rest of my life solving just all the problems. I want to accept and practice gratitude for things I have than things I don’t. My pages of wishlist should not stop me from writing the pages of self-appreciation, self-care, gratitude.
Why do you want to update the app each time, even when there is no problem with current version of the app? Do you even know the features of current version. So, this 2023, instead of upgrading myself, I am going to appreciate myself more, know myself more, be thankful for the path I have travelled so far, smile at the popping grey hairs and matured skin which is no more shiny but strong. Being too ambitious means it takes one towards future and away from present tense.
Not a better me in 2023. It will be a self, who is able to stay in present completely. Advance Happy New Year everyone ! What has 2022 prepared you for ?
The power of PAUSE