That was the most brilliant and wanted topic taken in the tamil television show “Neeya Naana” on 18th Dec’16 : “Angry Young women” Vs “Normal women”. I of course started watching the show with total support and part of “Angry young women” category as I have also penned down several articles on feminism.
Over the debate happening, I noticed couple of things on both side –
- The way “Normal women” are tricked / brain washed to accept that they are weaker sex and focus on ‘women’ related stuffs happily. This tuning is done by parents, family and culture , ethics and moral that they have been taught since childhood.
- The way “Angry young women” are angry is definitely not totally correct. There are certain areas where unwanted noise is created in the name of “Feminism”. They oppose that they are NOT weaker sex which is so correct but also oppose the exclusive features and characteristics of this gender.
So, this urged me to write this blog. I am a simple happy woman, married, with two kids, pursuing my passionate career, respecting elders, being strong where I have to, taking time for the “ME” with my hobbies regularly. I have my own challenges in every area of my life which I am fighting independently. With these qualification I pen down my thoughts , giving simple seven tips for next gen women to understand feminism correctly and stand for it
- Do not mix common problems with feministic issues : When a girl said, “he expects me to be a different person before his parents, this is male chauvinism”, I genuinely felt that is a myth in today’s girls. Even when a guy wants to meet your family, he can’t come in shorts and sports tee. These are generation gap and how we balance it, not feminism. Work life balance is another example. While women have the pressure of getting married soon, men having the pressure of getting married late. I have a male friend, who wanted to get married when he was 25. His parents said, “how can you be so childish? You have to earn more, go onsite, buy your own car then get married at your 30s”. Again these are generation issues not really feminism. Both genders have problems on few topics , but in their own way. So, understand if it is a social problem / women issue.
- Value the “Woman” in you : Ah, there was this super girl who said, why do you see ‘reproduction’ as a girl’s everything ? Why do you brand me as a person making babies, I choose not to get married, I might have a child through scientific methods / adopt or choose not to have a baby”. That minute, I felt so sad about supporting the team of “angry young women”. We are de-valuing ourselves if thats the case. If we value nature and the way this Earth is created, then understand that giving birth to a baby is naturally a woman’s power and there is no need to feel it as a degraded act.
Infact, we have the super powers of creating a life inside us, making an embryo grow into tiny hands, feet, body, heart and brain. We have the super power of delivering that life into the world where we take a rebirth ourselves. We have the super power of producing milk in our body and feeding the baby and transitioning the little born into a human understanding the world. The socialist feminist who said, “my cousin’s promotion was acknowledge but my grandma said you get married and give birth to a baby that is your promotion, I felt sad”. I say, get married , give birth, also get promotion in your career – prove that we are super power genders. Why to deny the natural powers given to us ?
- Differentiate safety and independence : While I am a modern woman, I can party all night and come back late is a fancy term, here is when the ‘young women’ gotta prove their brilliance. We women are like gold. So, if we protest saying gold is also a metal, you can throw on the road and no one should steal it or snatch it, then we are fools. We have to understand that we are precious hence we need safety and use our brains so that we dont get stolen.
- Respect and Love : Previous generation says this, they say that – Stop ! This is again non feministic approach. Women are tender and soft and take it as a pride. If you want to bring equality and rights and women as the superior gender – you cannot rewind and bring the change – you cannot change the previous generation an culture in oneshot, rather there is a way to achieve this. Bring out the positivity in you. Show respect and love to the opponents. Make them respect you, and slowly respect will make them listen to you , followed by bringing the change. Now a days, we fail because the orthodox group does not respect us and we dont care. Self respect and society respect is important to achieve anything, hence be the positive side.
- Those are male issues : Women cannot rape men. It is only vice versa. Ideally gentlemen and cultured men should protest against the bad ones who involve into such crimes. It is a men’s world and rape is a man’s issue. As for us feminism is considered here, learn to be strong, learn to be brainy and safe. Let us learn to slap the bad ones hard. Harassment and character assassination is our area to fight. Not just these topics, but generally sometimes we take the control of the topic and hence it becomes a feministic issue.
- Create the right world : A young girl, 28 and unmarried, achieving great in her career, planning for a world tour , enjoying her OWN life independently, looks really cool to look at. She can do this for few years, maybe a decade and finally the bird needs its tree. Again, this is common to both genders. Now since feminist gets into saying that “this” is how a girl should be, carefree and not bounded by a family , I strongly disagree. Those were days when a woman is allowed to see her husband only after wedding. Now, we have all brains to choose it right. So, choose the right pair, create your family environment, who will share the same craziness with you, who will share responsibilities with you, who will respect you for who you are. And enjoy the world. That is smart feminism.
- Change your audience : As I have mentioned in #4, it is not easy to rewind and change the previous generation. Rather, be the change to next generations. How do you want to see little girls. Conduct workshops in schools on how future girls should be. Do you know still in schools, “don’t cry like a girl” is a common term ? Change that first. Do not let them grow up same and then make the change tough. Change your audience to bring the right change.
I am a strong, steady headed feminist who wants to build the right track for all feminist and their sincere efforts in right way. Hope the above tips help. While the above points are just to provide clarity on right focus on feminism, I do not want to support the evils happening against women. The angry young women inside me is expressed here –My articles on feminism