Common dialogues a lady starts hearing from the moment she is pregnant, sometimes advance booking starts right after she is married.
- “Give birth to a son, only a son will carry forward the father and grandfather’s name and our generation will blossom” (Parenting is more than getting initials) .
- “Give birth to a baby girl, she is Goddess Lakshmi, she will bring all richness to family”(So, you expect the baby girl to come with a blank cheque?).
- “Boys won’t be emotionally attached after a certain age, we can cuddle only girls forever”(Can you expect your husband to cuddle his parents and sleep at the age of 30 ? still you know that he is a good son).
- “How much ever you love your girl, she will be part of someone else’ family once she is married, we can take all rights only when we have a son” (Oh, I guess you will be more happy when she stays with you forever )
- “Son is a son till he gets a wife, daughter is a daughter throughout my life” (Whoever says this : Are you really fit to be a parent? )
- “Girls are for us to spend all money and sons are to earn them” (You are the best business man of the century )
- Only daughters will take care of us in our old age ( Oh really ? Do u mean your son will leave u on the road and go away ? )
I have a son and a daughter and trust me , I am fed up of hearing all the above statements from my peer age group, from seniors, from previous generation. I sincerely pray that this nonsense generalisation stops with our generation. As a parent, answer true to your heart : “Dont you love your child irrespective of the gender ? The love and bond is established after seeing the positive result in pregnancy test, even before you felt those kicks, then what makes you talk about the particular gender once the baby is born ? “
Those who have girl babies keep talking and posting “Girl babies are great”, those who have sons post “Son is too attached to mom and sons are best”. Someone’s son and someone else’ daughter together make a parent, you and your husband – both genders together gave birth to the baby. What makes you change towards a particular gender ?
I have seen mothers with 3 sons, they all are married and settled, they don’t cuddle their mom, they don’t do gossip with her, but the moment they hear mom has a slight headache, it would be the sons who run to care for her.
On the other side, I have also witnessed a single mom with 3 daughters all married and settled, all ladies are working women with 2 children each, balancing work life balance, living in different countries. The moment they hear mom is upset, they throw all their priorities and take care of mom.
Isn’t the above 2 scenarios similar ? I would say that is the way the mother grew up their children. Gender never comes into picture and I am sad why most of us do not realise that.
I am too proud of my mom, who had faced several troubles from her in laws for not having a boy child. And now I am married settled, sometimes I get too emotional and attached to mom, talk to her how much I love her etc, you know what my parents says ? “You are married, here after that is your family , your husband and children , your life. Yes, we are always there to love you. But we did not do a business deal with you. This is applicable even if you were a boy. We grew you up during your childhood so you should take care of us during our old age – NO, we did not grow you up with that intention. We celebrated each of your birthdays not to get those in return, we did not get the best dresses and toys to get our return gifts later. We did all that because we love you and still we do that as we love you. There is no expectation in parenting. You should also be such a parent to your children. Never show your love with hidden expectations and dreams. Love is all over and your children will definitely love you , there is no boy , girl difference. ”
I am just a xerox of their opinion. Hats off to the value they have taught not just to me, but many family friends got inspired by them and learnt better parenting skills.
So , dear friends, pls stop making opinions about gender of your children, rather spent that time and energy in showering your love to your children, no matter who they are, your kids will always love you !
Happy parenting 🙂 Stay blessed !