I was bad to him! My eight year old lovely son, who is prompt in studies, well behaved, who listens to us. But today when I found his repeated mistakes on his homework, I was harsh, I was the typical monster mommy. I threatened to pinch him next time. He cried, he was scared, he was in pain.
After an hour, when I checked my whatsapp, there was a discussion on psychology and self assessment in a group. When I opened Facebook, there were memes on parenting in my parents groups. When I opened insta, there were videos and pics of pregnancy and child mental development etc. Nah, I am not gonna write about how amazingly technology captures our need based on artifical intelligence. Infact I was looking for such emotions. And I know those AI techniques work.
Couple of hours later, as we finished dinner,.. No.. As they finished dinner.. I can’t eat after giving a bad time to my child. I thought about those posts and links on parenting and child psychology. Then I looked at my son.
Which research and psychological analysis can tell me about my own son? Who else knows about his mind than me who carried him in my womb? And what else will give me clarity than talking to him heart to heart?
I took him for a walk down. I told him sorry and he was talking about a joke that happened at school with his friends. I said I don’t enjoy being harsh to him but it is just to groom him into better person. “I know” he casually replied and continued the joke. I patiently listened to his joke and laughed with him and then told him, “listen dear…” and continued talking from my heart more. He also shared his perspective and a child’s vision is always different. Every child’s is different too.
The satisfaction which no social media information could give me, the calmness which none of the expert philosophy could bring within me – I got it by talking to my son in person.
Now the thought expanded. Don’t we do it most of the times? Instead of solving problems and conflicts in simple human way, we intelligent intellectual people add a lot of essence and education, finally complicate the intensity of the problem rather than solving. It applies to relationship, it is applicable at work, in managing a team, in parenting everywhere. Have a knowledge on how human brain works, but connect to the concerned human first and then place your theory mapping if required. Most of the times, step 1 solves the purpose..
I have authored my second book GET READY MY LOVE, where I mention the same in every chapter. Talk, understand your spouse more, give space.. Connect as the better half first than following any rule book.
Accept with flaws, don’t label with any terms and connect the Neurons to a Google link.
Let’s admire the artifical intelligence but let us also not let the AI make our natural human emotions artifical. I know people who suggest a book name or a link at the end of every conversation, but sometimes, talk heart to heart, not wuth reference to context from so and so data. Life is simpler if only we don’t complicate so much 🙂
Happy parenting, happy work, happy life everyone!