I was not a nerd in my school days ! I used to dream during study time, I have lost pencils, broken eraser for fun. Yes, part of my childhood. Now I see my son day dreaming during his homework time. He lost his scale on first day of school. Still, he is a nerd, who loves to study ! Oh yeah, better than me at his age – I know this.
Still, as part of parenting, I am supposed to tell him, kindly, politely , lovingly, advice-fully, angrily – every way I tried. So, today evening, I was top of my patience done, anger overflowing, took a wooden scale – Dilemma
I don’t want to panic him, I don’t want to take rights on his body. But I want to teach him a lesson, which he did not learn the bad way, but I have also done the same during my childhood. It is a common one for all – That is the line between Good and Bad, Right and Wrong ! Who decides what is good and what is bad ? “Self” not even the spouse / kids / parents / values – your heart decides right and wrong. I did not thrash him, don’t worry. I just realised that I was standing between good and bad.
Now moving away from parenting topic, every situation we face this line between good and bad. When you betray your friend on a secret, when you lie to your boss when you are late to office, when you are lying to your wife that you are still in office, when your house is really dirty and blame on the maid 😀
All these situations , even more serious situations – you have a choice , you stand on a line , thin line between good and bad. Do you stop yourself during betrayal ? Or do you confess to your friend ? Do you tell your wife the truth ? Or start early to home ? Do you tell your boss the real reason or make efforts to come soon ?
Every situation in life – we take decisions, it might be good for us, bad for others or vice versa. End of the day, our heart takes a decision, which we never want to regret in future. It is not to hurt others, it is not to please closed ones, it will be a decision we take for our heart to be happy. For us to be whom we are ! In the language of kungfu panda movie , THE INNER PEACE 😀 Whenever you don’t listen to your heart, you hurt it more, you hurt yourself more ! Have you realised that ?
So, how do u decide good or bad ? Do u have tips to share on this topic ?
Good post Narmadha. There is always a fine line between good and bad. A lot of lies are created when one has no room to accept their mistakes or are not rewarded/accepted for their honesty. In our society, truth speakers and honest people are always ridiculed/mocked.
For eg. in a corporate world, it’s too difficult to tell the truth and get away because one will be subject to teasing/harassment, etc. and that will be a point of discussion in further meetings. A boss should allow the freedom for the employees to tell the truth.
When I was a team lead, I gave a lot of space for the team to tell the truth. So, one employee came and told me that tomorrow she was taking leave because it was her boyfriend’s birthday and she wanted to spend the time with him. I wished her good luck. The thing is, if she wasn’t allowed to speak the truth, she would have told that there was important function or something or I would have got an SMS the next morning, stating that she is ill. But the same employee would also book a late night cab or a cab for saturday even if I didn’t ask her to, in case there is a need in the project.
But such leads are not encouraged by the corporate world, even if they produce good results. I was being shunned away stating that I was being too lenient/friendly towards the employees. So naturally people tell lies.
So I wouldn’t judge people who tell lies or do bad things if there isn’t enough freedom to make mistakes and learn from it. Maybe I am externalizing the situation, but in this context I believe it holds good.
– Rajaraman
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